Optimistic Developer VS Pessimistic Tester

Developer and tester dilemma is well known and faced by everyone involved in software development cycle. Certainly, this comes to lots of in-house jokes. Below is a funny reminder on the difference between tester's and developer's point of view!

Optimistic Developer: The glass is half full.

Pessimistic Tester: The glass is twice as big as required.

Optimistic Developer: This code hasn't yet been tested. It's not known if it has any bugs.

Pessimistic Tester: This code hasn't yet been tested. It's not known if it works.

Optimistic Developer: We are 90% done.

Pessimistic Tester: We don't know when we'll be done, if ever.

Optimistic Developer: We will refactor the code to make it better.

Pessimistic Tester: They are throwing out the working code and replacing it with an unknown quantity.

Optimistic Developer: I only changed one line of code.

Pessimistic Tester: The entire system must be retested.

Optimistic Developer: The code is the design.

Pessimistic Tester: There is no design.

Optimistic Developer: We'll fix those bugs later, when we have time.

Pessimistic Tester: We never have enough time to fix the bugs.

Optimistic Developer: This build is feature complete.

Pessimistic Tester: The features exist; some are completely broken.

Optimistic Developer: Anything is possible, given enough time.

Pessimistic Tester: Everything has flaws, and given enough time I can prove it.

Optimistic Developer: Of course it will work.

Pessimistic Tester: It might work, but probably won't.

Optimistic Developer: One last bug fix, and we can ship tomorrow.

Pessimistic Tester: Fixing this one bug will likely lead to two more.

Optimistic Developer: Stop finding bugs, or we'll never be done.

Pessimistic Tester: Stop creating bugs, so I can find them all.

Optimistic Developer: There's no need for more tests.

Pessimistic Tester: Let's just run a few more tests to be sure.

Optimistic Developer: There is no I in TEAM.

Pessimistic Tester: We can't spell BUGS without U.

Optimistic Developer: That's an "undocumented feature".

Pessimistic Tester: That's a bug.

Optimistic Developer: I like to build things.

Pessimistic Tester: I like to break things.

Optimistic Developer: Sure, we can use the Beta version of this component in Production.

Pessimistic Tester: We should wait until version 2.1.

Looking to hire some pessimistic testers to test you app thoroughly before it goes to market?  Pay only for the time spent on testing. What software testing jokes do you know? Feel free to post in this thread and share with others!